Moms, it truly takes a village.
I’ve believed for the longest time that the ‘mommy wars’ is actually something we made up because of our own insecurities. Yes, I know there are mean people out there. I get it. But from my perspective, we are all so desperately trying to survive that our lack of confidence in our parenting makes us feel judged 24/7. Did you catch that? We feel judged when we actually aren’t being judged by other moms. You know why? Because they are thinking the same thing about you! That you are judging them! I mean, for real. This mom life is a HARD life, right? So let’s all have a little more confidence in ourselves and lend a helping hand when we are able. Let’s embrace, sing Kumbaya around a fire, while we inhale cheap boxed wine. Deal?
Ok, now that I got that out of my system. Let’s get back to the village.
On Sunday as I walked into church, I asked God to show me something. As I wrangled the kids into the pew, my prayer was that God would be present in more than scripture and song but that I would be a witness to His presence. Go big or go home right? But guess what? I was a witness to something that moved me to tears.
Help another mom out.
Why is CHURCH, the Lord’s HOUSE, one of the most terrifying places to parent? You feel like you are on a pedestal that rests on top of a stage that’s lit up by the brightest spotlight. We attend a very small Catholic church. Mass is at 8am sharp Sunday mornings. Getting there most weeks is a true miracle in itself. But this Sunday, even though the kids were restless and the substitute priest was long winded, God answered my meek little prayer.
Another mom (who is an amazing singer!) was a part of the choir that day. She came solo with her two rambunctious boys who sat in the front row while their momma joined the choir of four. (Small church, people…). I was so excited to see her singing because she is so talented. She brings something special to the Sundays she sings. I also knew what a challenge it was going to be to have those young boys sitting alone. And sure enough, over half way through the mass, they were getting antsy mid-song of course. I could tell this poor momma was doing all she could to not make eye contact with them and finish the song. Like predicted momma clockwork, that mom gave THE BEST mom look after she finished that last refrain. The look that everyone knew those kids were toast as soon as mass was over. But the best part? Was when another momma came from the back to sit in between those boys.
Moms, let’s help each other out.
Not to scold. Not to judge. Simply to be present for this other mom so she could continue sharing her talent with the rest of us. It moved me right to tears. It gives me goosebumps now. And guess what? After the service was done? Those moms hugged while the one thanked the other. While one said, next time they can just certainly sit with us. No one judged. No one had to feel like a failure. It was an amazing, Godly reminder that it takes a village to raise kids. That there is help available. Take it. Find it. Seek it if you must.